“.. hello,” he said, breath hot on her face.
All her own breath had fled her lungs and with it her capacity to do anything but stare and try get her head around the who and why. Her brain had still not caught up with the moment
“Are you afraid?” he asked as he moved, settling down at her side. She remained rigid as he pressed his firm bulk against her slighter frame. “I would be if I were you.”
He was very warm, she noted absently.
“But don’t worry,” he continued, his mouth against her ear, “I won’t hurt you. In fact, we’re going to play a game. We’re going to pretend.”
She finally made a sound; an uncertain squeak. It made him laugh; a deep rumble that caused her body to rock with it they were so close.
“Let’s pretend I’m not a monster and you’re not afraid.”
They sat in silence for some time after that, barely moving. There had been something desperate in his tone, something needy.
Finally she spoke, “you’re not a monster.”
Beside her she felt his sigh and then his chuckle. “Good girl,” he murmured. “Just for tonight, we are friends, aren’t we?”
“Yes,” she responded.
Her gaze flickered sideways, meeting golden eyes that watched from the darkness.
The lioness slunk away without a sound.
~o~
That was not the last night the wolf came to the lamb. Sometimes she saw him from far off, watching and laughing at her. Other times, only after she had wandered away from her many children would she suddenly find him by her side.
She didn’t fear him, though sometimes she thought that she should.
Each time the lioness waited and each time she was sent away.
~o~
She woke suddenly, giving a soft startled gasp. Then she relaxed against him, knowing the tough muscular body beside her better than any other. A metallic scent drifted up her nose.
A turn of her head brought his face into view; a monstrous head stained by blood, gums pulled back in a grin and eyes wide.
“Nobody you knew,” he said and laid his head upon her shoulder.
She shivered.
~o~
She spent the day with her children, helping her Totoma find their names. They did this often and never succeeded, but it was always fun. “You’re a good mother,” he said as he curled around her that night.
“Thank you,” she replied and he only laughed. He was always laughing at her.
~o~
Sometimes she wondered if she should tell her family about him. They would drive him away and blood would be shed. There would be conflict, she knew that. But the thought of him gone from her life, much to her surprise, distressed her. It couldn’t end that way. Not with anger and pain.
~o~
“Kindness is a disease,” he said one night.“No it isn’t,” she replied instantly.
“You’ll see. It will kill you in the end.”
She only shook her head and smiled.
~o~
The moon rose high that night; big and bright and so very far away. He was restless and she was anxious.
“Are you going to leave me?” She heard herself ask, her voice quivering.
“Of course,” he answered instantly. This time he did not laugh and she sensed his words coming from gritted teeth, though she could not bring herself to look. “We’re just pretending, after all.”
“We don’t have to pretend.”
Now he laughed and when he leant against her she thought he might try to crush her.
“You’re such a little fool.”
~o~
Then he was gone.She waited at first. She sat wide away through night after night, waiting for him to return. He never came.
So she started searching. Even to her it seemed as impossible task.
Nobody knew him, nobody had seen him. Sometimes she wondered if he had ever existed at all. Maybe, she thought to herself, it had all been a dream.
But she didn’t give up, even after months had past.
~o~
When she found him, unexpectedly at dusk one lonely night, he was angry.He snarled and slunk forward, not wearing that familiar grin, but instead wicked scowl. The game was over. The pretending was done. This was real.
She cringed back, but her legs would not move. They would not let her run.
The lioness came between them, low to the ground and ready to pounce.
“We can pretend!” She cried desperately, eyes snapping shut so she would not have to witness the battle.
There was silence.
She opened her eyes to find him waiting, staring at her with a mad gaze, body tensed to strike. To her it felt as though they teetered on the edge of a cliff. One wrong move and they would both fall.
“Just for one night. We can pretend that we’re friends and you’re not a monster. Okay?” She waited, her heart beating far too fast and her body trembling with each breath.
His voice when it came, was gruff with disuse, as if he was just remembering how to speak. “… okay.”
She saw the physical effort it took for him to relax, for him to drag the pretend self up from where he had hidden it.
Then he shuddered and grinned.
~o~
One night was all he gave her. She relished each single second and was ready, when the dawn came, to say goodbye. Afterwards she sought out her children and took comfort at their side. She continued on with her life as if the time she had spent with him had not changed her at all. She laughed and played and wore the same smile she’d always had.
She was content once more.
~o~
She woke to the old sensation of being watched. There he stood, staring down at her, blocking the moonlight and keeping his face in darkness. For an eternity they remained that way, her looking up and him looking down, until finally, he shifted.“You’re a good mother,” he said, echoing words said long ago.
Then he left her and this time she knew it was for good.