[Solo] Dreams and Nightbears [RBF]
Posted: Sun Jan 03, 2021 11:41 pm
[imgleft]https://matope.pixel-blueberry.com/imag ... ncert3.png[/imgleft]
As she laid down to sleep, Real Big Fish was shaken by the thing she’d seen earlier. The eyes in the distance had glowed like her own, but not with the light of friendship. It was malevolent, whatever was out there. It… reminded her of things, things she’d left far away.
That night she dreamed of bears.
She’d seen what passed for a bear here in the swamp, and it was… not a bear, not like she knew them. It was cute, cute as all get-out, but it wasn’t a bear. Not like in the mountains. Up in the lands of the Totoma, bears were about the worst thing imaginable. They were ferocious, relentless, and gigantic. They were solitary and deadly, and smart. Wicked smart. Smarter than wolves, than lions, than Totoma, sometimes. To hunt a bear by yourself was suicide. Plenty of Totoma had earned their names that way. Bearfighter, Who-Died-Honorably. Fought On Her Own, Who-Died-Honorably. Too Old To Do This, Who-Died-Honorably.
Honorably, and stupidly, most of the time. There was never a reason to seek out and fight a bear by yourself. Even the most desperate Totoma, protecting their lambs, could ask for help. There were plenty of kin who’d made a name for themselves fighting beasts, and they were always willing to help lead teams against threats. Her grandmother, whom she’d loved more than any other kin, was a renowned wolf-fighter. Had she stayed in the mountains, she might have been one herself, if it came down to that. But she hadn’t stayed. Except, in her dream that night… well, she had.
Here in the swamp, though, the shaggy nightmares were a distant memory. Bears here were cute.
It wasn’t the cute ones she dreamed of.
It was a dream setting she’d experienced frequently. Her ghost, she thought. A life unlived. There was a version of herself, somewhere, somewhen, that hadn’t left after being unmoored by her grandmother’s passing. This version of her, Ghost Fish, wasn’t the herd matriarch, not yet, but was getting there. Climbing the ranks. Caring for her family, tending to their needs. Listening to her mother, doing what she was told. It wasn’t a bad life Ghost Fish lived, just not the one Real Fish wanted or had. She didn’t think much during the day about Ghost Fish’s life, but at night, it came to her unbidden.
Such was the case tonight, where she dreamed of herself, standing on the mountain, watching a bear tear its way through her family. She shouted- no, screamed, howled, bayed into the wind. She was attempting to direct the fight, but nobody listened. Nobody took her seriously. Nobody let her keep them safe. One by one, they faced the bear on their own. She tried to gallop into battle, to distract the beast while they attacked, but her hooves were cemented to the spot, frozen in chains of ice. All she had was her voice, and that was being carried away by the blizzard wind. She could feel it becoming hoarser and hoarser, and then…
And then the bear was upon her. It stared at her with something like pity, then melted into the wind, disappearing with the snow.
She was alone, surrounded by corpses. Corpses of kin she couldn’t save, kin who wouldn’t even let her try. Kin who had died honorably, but needlessly. Stupidly. They’d died in a way that made no sense- had they not tried to fight the bear by themselves, had they just teamed up and cooperated… they could have beaten it. Easily. Probably with only a few scratches on the most foolhardy or the youngest, eager to earn their names.
And she was left there, a herdless matriarch, a leader without a flock.
She was left there to rename the dead.
When she would think about it much later, after the immediacy of it wore off, she would come to understand that the monster in her dream wasn’t a bear, but what it represented. Aloneness. The refusal to take your place in a family, a flock, a herd. Whatever you wanted to call it. Totoma stubbornness was legendary, as was their pride, but it was crucial to ensure that pride didn’t override basic survival skills.
But that was something she’d think about down the line.
Right now, she had to think about the cub that woke up next to her.
(729)
As she laid down to sleep, Real Big Fish was shaken by the thing she’d seen earlier. The eyes in the distance had glowed like her own, but not with the light of friendship. It was malevolent, whatever was out there. It… reminded her of things, things she’d left far away.
That night she dreamed of bears.
She’d seen what passed for a bear here in the swamp, and it was… not a bear, not like she knew them. It was cute, cute as all get-out, but it wasn’t a bear. Not like in the mountains. Up in the lands of the Totoma, bears were about the worst thing imaginable. They were ferocious, relentless, and gigantic. They were solitary and deadly, and smart. Wicked smart. Smarter than wolves, than lions, than Totoma, sometimes. To hunt a bear by yourself was suicide. Plenty of Totoma had earned their names that way. Bearfighter, Who-Died-Honorably. Fought On Her Own, Who-Died-Honorably. Too Old To Do This, Who-Died-Honorably.
Honorably, and stupidly, most of the time. There was never a reason to seek out and fight a bear by yourself. Even the most desperate Totoma, protecting their lambs, could ask for help. There were plenty of kin who’d made a name for themselves fighting beasts, and they were always willing to help lead teams against threats. Her grandmother, whom she’d loved more than any other kin, was a renowned wolf-fighter. Had she stayed in the mountains, she might have been one herself, if it came down to that. But she hadn’t stayed. Except, in her dream that night… well, she had.
Here in the swamp, though, the shaggy nightmares were a distant memory. Bears here were cute.
It wasn’t the cute ones she dreamed of.
It was a dream setting she’d experienced frequently. Her ghost, she thought. A life unlived. There was a version of herself, somewhere, somewhen, that hadn’t left after being unmoored by her grandmother’s passing. This version of her, Ghost Fish, wasn’t the herd matriarch, not yet, but was getting there. Climbing the ranks. Caring for her family, tending to their needs. Listening to her mother, doing what she was told. It wasn’t a bad life Ghost Fish lived, just not the one Real Fish wanted or had. She didn’t think much during the day about Ghost Fish’s life, but at night, it came to her unbidden.
Such was the case tonight, where she dreamed of herself, standing on the mountain, watching a bear tear its way through her family. She shouted- no, screamed, howled, bayed into the wind. She was attempting to direct the fight, but nobody listened. Nobody took her seriously. Nobody let her keep them safe. One by one, they faced the bear on their own. She tried to gallop into battle, to distract the beast while they attacked, but her hooves were cemented to the spot, frozen in chains of ice. All she had was her voice, and that was being carried away by the blizzard wind. She could feel it becoming hoarser and hoarser, and then…
And then the bear was upon her. It stared at her with something like pity, then melted into the wind, disappearing with the snow.
She was alone, surrounded by corpses. Corpses of kin she couldn’t save, kin who wouldn’t even let her try. Kin who had died honorably, but needlessly. Stupidly. They’d died in a way that made no sense- had they not tried to fight the bear by themselves, had they just teamed up and cooperated… they could have beaten it. Easily. Probably with only a few scratches on the most foolhardy or the youngest, eager to earn their names.
And she was left there, a herdless matriarch, a leader without a flock.
She was left there to rename the dead.
When she would think about it much later, after the immediacy of it wore off, she would come to understand that the monster in her dream wasn’t a bear, but what it represented. Aloneness. The refusal to take your place in a family, a flock, a herd. Whatever you wanted to call it. Totoma stubbornness was legendary, as was their pride, but it was crucial to ensure that pride didn’t override basic survival skills.
But that was something she’d think about down the line.
Right now, she had to think about the cub that woke up next to her.
(729)