He frowned and stroked his beard- "This doesn't seem right. Does this seem right to you?"

The man held the directions out to his friend in a gently shoving sort of way. Surely, once she looked at them, she'd see what he was seeing. Right??
It was impossible not to.

There were too many extra parts for what they were building. There was no way one table needed this many screws and brackets.

And one more thing was just off about all of it.
He didn't say it accusingly, but it was more a question slowly ponderous in nature-

"Why aren't there any words?"

lilacfishie wrote:

Sparkling Sunrise was looking at the room they were tasked to build for, brow furrowed with thought. When Story spoke, she turned her attention to him and her eyes widened a little when he pushed the instructions into her hands. Taking them gently, she glanced over the diagrams and the furrow returned to her brow. She looked from the picture of what they bought on the box, to the instructions, and to the pieces laid out a few times. A hum of contemplation left her as she shifted her weight from one leg to another.

"We did buy just one table, right? It's not for, like, three? Or something?" she asked, looking up at the man. Sparkling Sunrise adjusted her glasses and looked again. Nope, there were still approximately a billion more screws than they needed. Maybe the company expected them to open the packaging like barbarians and the pieces would fly everywhere? A lot of them were bound to be lost that way and they'd be left with about the amount they needed. Or, maybe, it was like Five Guys when you order a "small" fry and they slam dunk five pounds of fries into your bag. Unclear.

When Story asked about the instructions, she looked at them again. "Maybe there's another page?" she responded, trying to sound optimistic and not like this was going to be a challenge for their blood pressure. Handing the instructions back to him, maybe a little like it was a cursed object, she looked into the box and frowned when it came up empty. "Or, maybe, there's more instructions online?"

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LOLLI qAq wrote:

Story scrunched his face up into a slight grimace when the papers were handed back to him and shook his head slightly. They hadn't even started and already there was confusion. Maybe the idea was that if you weren't smart enough to understand a diagram you didn't deserve to even have a table.

He sat down, opened his phone and went immediately to search for written instructions for the ... NORDEN table.

Missing: written¹

A drop down menu suggested asking if the company even had written instructions.

"Hard copy instructions are included in the packaging of all our products."²

Story scoffed in mounting concern as he read the results to Sunrise. They were going to have to figure this out on their own it seemed.

lilacfishie wrote:

1. Searching for written instructions for "Norden table"
2. Google recommended search for if written instructions are available

The deep, exasperated, sigh coming from Sparkling Sunrise started with the first search result and lasted through the entire explanation of the second. She dragged a hand down her face and contemplated their choices. They could just abandon this nightmare structure and go eat meatballs instead, yes. But, she was not about to be bested by particle board and seventy-six screws, and she didn't think he was either. With a groan, she brushed her hair out of her face and looked at the """instructions""" again.

"What dark timeline did those witches transport us to?" she murmured while staring at the confusing diagrams. Sparkling Sunrise picked up a few pieces that resembled the pieces in the diagram and held them together to try and grasp what order they were meant to be attached in. There was a pause before she spoke again. "Wait a hot second. If these witches are actually witches, why can't they just magic this thing together?" she asked, incredulously, while gesturing to their pile of stuff. She grabbed another piece that seemed to be more correct and reached for some brackets and screws.

"Unless the dark magic of IKEA is too strong or something," she murmured while finagling the smaller pieces.

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LOLLI qAq wrote:

He looked up at her with big, worried, eyes and wanted to say something encouraging. Rallying. But he was just as frustrated as she was. A quiet moan escaped his lips.

"I don't know," he said only a little despondently, "but I don't know if I like it."

He moved himself to sit down on the floor next to the table pieces and stared at them. Like maybe if he looked at them hard enough the table would assemble itself.

"Maybe if we ask it nicely ..." He muttered under his breath.

As he started to group wood shapes and nuts and bolts into piles based on what the instructions indicated they should have he answered Sparkling Sunrise's thoughts on the witches with a half smile.

"I think they're cruel and capricious and this is funny to them."

He didn't exactly mean it but he didn't not mean it, either.

"Here," he gestured to a spot next to him, "maybe if we separate out what we need per page this won't seem so, I don't know, extra."

lilacfishie wrote:

Sparkling Sunrise let out a half amused laugh. "You're probably right," she said, putting her hands on her hips and watching him sift through the materials. When he sat down on the floor, she knew they were getting into the belly of the beast with this project. "May as well have given us a LEGO box without the instructions," she murmured. When he motioned to the spot next to him, she padded over and flopped down, crossing her legs.

"That makes sense. Hopefully smaller groups will help," she declared. Sparkling Sunrise leaned forward and started grouping pieces together and taking from the suspicious pile of brackets and screws. "Maybe we should make something silly out of the extras," she commented as she lined up the little piles. A few minutes passed and they seemed to have regained some control of the situation with Story's organization.

"Okay, let's just take this slowly, and look at the diagrams carefully before we start putting holes in stuff," she said, holding her arms out over the breadth of their workspace. Sparkling Sunrise then reached forward and grabbed a few pressboard panels. "Why did they chose the most complicated table?"

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LOLLI qAq wrote:

"See my previous comment about capriciousness," Story said with a distracted shrug.

He had to admit that it was almost, sort of, relaxing sorting everything into piles and making sense of the mess that was flatpack furniture. It felt unnatural, but it wasn't unpleasant either. Like meditation.

He nodded in agreement about double-checking the diagrams before even touching anything.

"So..." he breathed out slowly, "We need the two longest pieces."

He touched what he was talking about lightly, and then proceeded to do the same for the list of what they needed for the first step. Then, with trepidation, he looked at Sparkling Sunrise.

"Do you want to do the honors?" He took a breath. "Or should I?"

lilacfishie wrote:

Sparkling Sunrise watched intently as Story took the lead on the first steps. She trusted his steady and logical mind way more than whatever result her barreling headfirst into the instructions and accidentally building something that would make Salvador Dali proud. From her cross-legged spot next to him, she reached for the drill and a few screws and brackets. She held the drill up towards the ceiling and tested the trigger a few times, her smile tilting a little maniacally. "I think I can do it!" she said, maybe with a bit too much zeal, before reaching for the two big pieces they needed.

An hour later, they were about halfway through the project. A box of bandaids may or may not have been added to the mix, and Sparkling Sunrise sported a few of them on her fingers. Nobody ever said she was proficient in the drill, but she probably would be by the end of this. If it ever ended. She stood back and looked at their project, which sat on the floor between them. Something had...gone wrong...a few steps ago, and the legs to the table were facing separate directions. Her eyes glanced from the eldritch table to the "instructions," trying to determine where they'd messed up. An extended pause later, her eyes widened and she approached the table. After a few minutes, the leg was once again detached and they could regroup.

[Words: 236 | Total: 902]

LOLLI qAq wrote:Thank you for doing this with meeee ;u;

He had, for his part, stayed mostly out of her way for the better part of the hour. Only occasionally did he risk life and limb to reach in, stop Sparkling Sunrise long enough to point to the instructions, and then pull back out and away from the drill. Honestly, he liked it this way. Even if things were a touch more haphazard than if he'd been doing it alone, it wasn't taking three days like it would if he had been doing it alone. Story could appreciate that.

His friend stopped and he cocked his head at the table legs.

"Are they supposed to-" He was cut short by Sunrise's sudden movement towards the table and subsequent dismantling of the wonky appendages.

What on earth had gone wrong? They had put screws into holes and washers onto screws and fitted weird peg things into holes and then into other holes... And, yet, they still had an overabundance of tube thingies that and screws of various sizes and of course nothing was to scale on paper.

He ran his hands through hair that was already doing a fine Einstein impression and let out a long sigh.

"... Wanna go get meatballs?" He laughed as he said it, but was he completely joking?

Probably.

Maybe.

He looked at the instructions again with an intent focus on the pieces that were supposedly required, and then he shifted his attention the parts they'd used.

"Ohhhhhhh," He said knowingly, and it took him almost ten seconds to let out.

He replaced, with much finagling and cussing softly under his breath, one type of tube thing from inside holes in the legs and replaced them with a nearly identical tube thing. Story then cautiously borrowed the drill from Sparkling Sunrise and put the rest of the table together.

And finally- It was done.

He let out another long sigh and shook his head, but he was grinning from ear to ear.

"That was dumb."

lilacfishie wrote:no uuuuuuuu