He felt as though a lightning bolt had struck him, the news was that shocking. Even in his mind, the word felt foreign and rough. Father. He blinked, felt a shudder travel through his body as a chill creeped along the nerves in his spine. Terror mingled with excitement; anxiety mixed with joy. Questions bounced around his head: how was he the first of his clutchmates to have children? Would he even know how to be a father? What would Ancient want to do with them, or not do? Would they be monstrous or beautiful?The Scream Stricken eyed the lake in front of him and wondered if it would be a terrible thing to drown himself. This was all rather overwhelming and he didn't know what to do. He couldn't even remember if he'd replied to Ancient. Had she walked away or had he? One of them had, because they were not standing here together, but that was about as far as his knowledge went. It would have been mortifying, if he had any sense left. (He didn't.)
Fright, his furby, burbled. Maybe he could drown it instead? An offering to whomever that, something . . .
It was an immeasurable amount of time later that someone barked into his ear, "Boy, you need to find a Legendary! Someone to bless that upcoming clutch!"
He'd nodded, glad to have a task given to him, and set off. The direction didn't matter, at least not to him. He assumed that if he was meant to find one, he would. And if he wasn't, well, maybe he would wander forever or drown. He stilled, wrinkling his nose briefly, what was with the sudden obsession with drowning? Surely, things weren't that dire and he wasn't that morbid!
Could it be fatherhood that made his thoughts veer? Impending though it was, without anything to yet show for it, that was a change. He liked Ancient, quite a lot in fact, if it wasn't obvious by how things were now; but, he worried. Would their children be beauties? Elegant? Would they be terrifying? Could they be happy? It needled at him. Sharply. It had taken a long time to find Ancient, to find acceptance that wasn't born of family. Would his children have to wait that long, too? Could they find friends and lovers and make their own families? (Assuming they wanted to; he did not pretend to know what they would desire.)
A sudden thump against his side pulled the buck from his whirling thoughts and he looked to his left to find a glowing eyed kin staring at him. Upon his gaze, she nodded once, "Now, do hurry up. You've been dawdling all day and I won't have you making me late. We don't all devote our time to waiting for you to find us. Some of us have lives, you know," she lectured him and then began walking once more. It was only when she stopped a few paces away and glowered at him that he found his body rushing to catch up."I," he started, then floundered. Had he been making her wait? Who was she? Did he know her? Wide-eyed and a little panicked, he started, "That is, I didn't mean to make you wait. Er, but was I supposed to meet you? I don't think I've ever seen you before, and I've had a lot on—"
"Oh, save me from your life's story. You don't know me at all and we've never met, either," she interrupted, scoffing at his chatter. "You're looking for a Legendary," she started at his blank expression, "and going to be a father. I can already tell you'll be rubbish at it without help and it's going to take me all night as it is to teach you anything. The blessing will be easier," she added as an afterthought.
"Um, thank you?" he replied, confused and now wondering if he should be running. (But which direction?)
Atone wondered, not for the first and certainly not for the last, why her? At this rate, the buck would only realize he had children when they brought their own great grandchildren back to meet him, his head was so far up into the clouds. She didn't blame him, exactly, it could be a shock, but really, one would think he'd want to pay attention. If she'd been a crocodile, she snorted at the thought.
"You do have manners, then. Small favors," she smiled. It felt like an insult.
The buck kept pace and was surprised when another voice entered the mix.
"I was getting worried."
"Yes, well, nothing to fret over, dear. Just a hard headed and oblivious buck that needs help," Atone reassured the doe.
"Hello," the doe greeted him with a smile that eased his tumbling and terrified thoughts.
"Hi," he squeaked, wincing at the eagerness in his voice. "I mean, hello. It's nice to meet you, both?"
"Nearly hopeless," Atone sighed, nudging the buck through the garden. "And we'll be lucky if he can even find his way back to his future children at this rate."
The doe laughed, "We can always walk him home."
The mare wrinkled her nose, "Ever the pragmatic one."
"Would one of you—" The Scream Stricken stopped, mouth shutting and then dropping open. "Blessing? You're going to bless me? You're a Legendary!?"
"Look who's finally caught up," the mare rolled her eyes. "Now, sit, and tell me what it is you wish for your children."
The buck sighed, sitting down and then lowering his belly to the ground. He felt a fool, in more ways than one. And now he had to sum up all his jumbled thoughts into something coherent so that his children would be, well not him. Not that he was terrible or even bad. Just, apparently, foolish and inept.
"You needn't give them the whole world," the doe spoke, "just tell us what you want for them. Atone will do the rest. And she really is quite kind and a very good mother, too; it's just that her children are visiting today and she didn't want to miss them."
Atone sighed, nodded, "I strive to ensure that my children come first, you see, and I wasn't expecting that you would be so overwhelmed." She bit back the words and helpless. "I apologize if I have added to your discomfort and fear, but you'll need to keep your head if you're going to be a father. They'll wreck you otherwise." And wasn't it kind of her to leave out that they wrecked you anyway? Children were good at that; it was lunacy, really, that she couldn't deny wanting more.
The Scream Stricken heaved the breath, "I want them to be secure. If they want to make friends, then I want them to be able to make friends; if they want to be alone, then I want them to be able to find that peace, too. I want them to feel that their features match their hearts. If they want to be beautiful, then they are, but if they'd prefer to be terrifying, than that's wonderful, too. I just want them to be able to believe in the world and feel accepted. I want their wishes and their dreams to be possible, but how do I do that when they aren't born yet and I don't know them?"
"You love them," Atone replied, soft and steady, "it's all we can do as parents."
A breathe.
"Your children shall be confident and sure of themselves so as to make their own dreams and hopes come true. They shall know that what others see is not always the truth and that their hearts are much stronger than any sight. They shall be healthy and strong, but they shall know softness and love. They shall be accepting, but know to keep tight to their boundaries. And they shall, above all else, never know hate."
And wasn't that what all parents dreamed? The Scream Stricken smiled, relieved.